Sky Diving

A selection of SB 179
"14 . provides that no person may make a claim against or recover from a county,
15 municipality, or independent special district for personal injury or property damage
16 resulting from the inherent risks of skydiving."

Now I'm not a lawyer, but last I checked, if you were trying to prove a negligence case, what you would try to show is that the risks were inherent.

Doesn't this bill, in effect, put an admission of negligence into statute?

Casual Wednesday

So I have a new plot.
I want to convince legislators and everyone on the hill that Tomorrow, (well I guess today at this point) the last day of the session, is a dress-up costume day.

I just love the image of Becky Lockhart in a bumble bee suit, complete with antennae, moving to amend. Steve Urquhart would be wearing the guy in the shower costume, and Scott Wyatt would be a hay farmer.

The speaker, Greg Curtis, would, of course, be Wayne Newton, because, he really does look a lot like him.

As for me, I would get one of those big brimmed fedoras with a "press" card stuck in it and a trench coat. That or one of those corner newspaper seller hats from "Newsies".

Forever, aka As Needed

Tomorrow's floor time is scheduled to go from 2 pm 'til "as needed".
What does this mean? It means I'm bringing Arrested Development on DVD to work tomorrow for the inevitable debate over whether a notice should be sent via first class or certified mail. (Note: If you're my boss reading this, that whole arrested development thing is just an expression.)

I Move Previous Question

To move the Previous Question is the greatest motion around. It cuts off debate after a vote. Unless you're the one who wants to talk, it is awesome. It's the, "I get it, I get it, lets move along" motion. Also the, "please, shut up" motion.

Steve Urquhart has been moving previous question a lot lately. Probably trying to get the legislature moving along as the session gets closer to the end. I like to think it is more like a master hitting the shock button on his dog's collar. "Heel," Urquhart yells, "Previous question, get back to your desk."

Harry Potter Holiday

So my cousin wants to declare July 21st a Harry Potter holiday.

There is a petition you can sign at
www.harrypotterholiday.com

Though I'm not a Harry Potter freak like some people, it is still cool. So go sign it.

All Mirth and Girth

And I don't mean mirth in the happy way. I mean in the large pubis mons kind of way. I guess that condition, marked by the "triangle area" encompasing the better part of the body, can be caused by heart problems.

But I do wonder, why is it that those people who suffer from this condition wear their pants so tight up against them. They have this round, smooth buldge (which sometimes serves as a desk or table) -- a budlge so smooth and so outlined by tight pants that I cannot figure out where they could be keeping their genitalia.

Seriously, where'd it go?

I'll make you break the law!

Now, those of you who know me know that I love speeding. A lot. Further, people riding in the left hand lane who don't let me pass are so increadibly frustraitng. I was, therefore, excited to see this provision in a house bill:

"an operator of a vehicle traveling in the left lane may not impede the
free flow of traffic and shall, upon being overtaken by a vehicle in the same lane,
yield to the vehicle;"

About time.

I was thinking, man, this is really good, but no one is going to know about this. How can people hear about it?

Oh, yeah, I work for a newspaper, duh.

Here's something interesting about the law:

"provides that if an operator is being followed by a vehicle in the left lane within a
certain distance, it is prima facie evidence that the operator is impeding the free
flow of traffic"

Doesn't this say that if I tail gate you, then you've violated the law?

I hope so. You need to get to the right, for the love of all that is holy.

One sad note, the provision that would raise Utah's speedlimits by 5 mph was struck from the bill. Very sad indeed.

Swingin' Cash

Steve Urquhart, R-St. George, substituted Utah's anti-abortion bill today. But while he stepped back the abortion illegalization measure he also managed to swing an extra 1.3 million for some of his favorite projects.

Early Childhood intervention was, according to Rep. Paul Ray, R-Clearfiled, funded in his committee nearly to the full amount requested. Urquhart, however, seems to have wanted a bit more for the program.

Urquhart never the less managed to move the bill from an inevitable constitutional challenge to a trigger bill (waiting on Roe v. Wade's overturn) and then re-direct the money for the defense of the law to early childhood and childhood deformation programs.

I don't judge the man for the move one way or another. I was nevertheless impressed how he managed to use the substitution one of the most controversial bills that legislators will look at this year to swing some cash the way of a cause he believed in.

And I thought that pork only came in the form of amendments and burritos from Cafe Rio. (I suppose the Cafe Rio thing is an irony in and of itself as imigrants work there but don't get tons of pork - unless the owner gives them some after close.)

Bluetooth Earpieces

I'm in the middle of writing 3 stories, so I've got to make this quick.

What inspires people to wear the hands free bluetooth earpieces when
a) They're insde
b) They're not talking to anyone
c) They've got nothing in their hands
d) They're just wandering the halls

I stronlgy doubt that anyone who looks as goofy as these people do gets nearly enough phone calls to warrent owning one of these devices, let alone wearing them.

Comfortable Bishop

Rob Bishop, US congressman from Utah addressed the state leg today.

He is my kind of guy, for one reason in particular.

He wore this to the floor of the House.

When the speaker teased him about it, Bishop says, "I'm wearing socks. This is formal."

Awesome.


Monday, I'm wearing this shirt I found online to the Capitol.

That is if someone wants to buy it for me.

(The joke is all in the arms. . . not the arms of the guy wearing the shirt, but the arms of the guy on the t-shirt)

Medical Malpractice

Today was the emergency room tort reform bill in HHS ; HB 338.

There are two sides to this, one is very tragic, and one is very pragmatic.

The examples given of malpractice during today's hearing were, well, viceral. "Good hell, how does that happen?" went through my mind once or twice when I heard some of the discriptions of what doctors did by accident.

But I noticed that all there were no Malpractice defense lawyers at the hearing; just the litigators for victims of malpractice. There were also doctors there who think that being sued constantly results in no doctors wanting to work in the ER. They said that it certainly kept specialists who, apparently, are realy important to have on hand out of the ER.

So let's say we table the bill's opponent argument that 338 is "defacto immunity" for ER workers. And let's look at the noticed parts of the issue.

I don't believe that these doctors intentionally screwing people up.

And, frankly, at a standard rate of 33% of damages, I think that the motives of litigators who oppose this bill are not exactly altruistic.

I guess I don't know the answer to how malpractice torts can be reformed. Probably because I'm not a lawyer, a doctor, or a tort-reformer. (Although I have considered being an Indian chief.) Doctors do need accountability, and our juris system needs someone to blame so damages can be awarded.

All I'm saying is something strange is afoot at the Circle-K.

Work

How is it that there can be so much going on at the legislature, yet I feel that there is so little to report on. So go ahead, post your favorite House Bill comming up that you want me to write on. Maybe I'll do it. You know you want to.

Bariatric Surgery

I'm listening to testimony about covering bariatric surgery for obesity under insurance.

I've never felt more inspired to go to the gym.

The Earth's Axis

The Earth's axis, once on my shiz list, is slowly moving back into my good graces. As the Sun pushes back North where it belongs, I noticed that we are expecting 56 degrees today. Praise be, the winter is dying.

Though I still am concerned over this winter thing. I compiled some weather stats for Provo over the past few years, and there is typically a warming follwed by a sudden cold blast. Will it occur? Probably. Will I be releasing CFC's to help warm me back up when it happens? Almsot certianly.

Beyonce

So Beyonce may have to be punished, and not just becuase her new album, B'Day has an unfortunatnly similar name to french hygene equipment. Instead my rage stems from waking up today, turning on the TV and forever hearing, "to the left, to the left" in my head all day long.

Additionally, she rhymes "minute" with "minute".

But on the up side, it is a catchy lil' album.

HPV, WTF?

Tell me, my friends, if a bill that proposes to let the under insured get access to a vaccine that PREVENTS CANCER comes before you, (HB 358, heard in HHS standing committee today) would you amend the bill to only educate those people about the vaccine, but not give those who can't afford it the vaccine?

Good job, Rep. Ray. Way to provide for the very poor and the rich, and nail the middle class kids to a tree.

Can someone really think that even kids who are raised in a strong LDS home don't have a chance of making a mistake and, at some time, getting it on, ergo risking catching HPV, the virus that leads to cervical cancer?

Why would you want to restrict access to this vaccine? I ask because that is the affect of The HHS standing committee’s recommendation today.

How arrogant can of a human being would one have to be to suggest that providing a vaccine could condone an action (I’m looking at you Eagle Forum; shame on you for this one), ergo it is better that they be placed at in increased risk of death?

Would you really rather see children suffer for their mistakes than risk yourself being held responsible for condoning those mistakes? Selfish, unwise, and un-Christ-like.

Acknowledging that even good kids make mistakes isn't promoting teen sex. Geez, protect your kids.

And I'd like to add a personal perspective. Having been in many-a bishopric meeting, I can say people make mistakes. This is the point of the LDS church: to help them, to keep them, to watch over them, to care for them, as the Master would. Never are we to take away the chance for redemption because you were to afraid that by telling them that they could repent of a sin that you were encouraging them to sin in the first place.

Utah Eagle Forum, et. al., I fear that you have overstepped your bounds egregiously.

Sleep

Sleep is an amazing thing; however, it is something that does not come easily. I think I'd like to sleep now. Problem is, that if I sleep now, I'll want to sleep for the better part of tomorrow.

Shore, Dvorak is good . . .

Am I the only one who thinks that Howard Shore's score for the Lord of the Rings has a great deal of similarity to Dvorak's New World Symphony?

Maybe that has something to do with why I love both pieces so much.

A Grab-Bag of Crazy

So I took a job with a newspaper doing legislative reporting. Utah seems to have what can only be described as a grab bag full of crazy.

Well, perhaps it can be described other ways.

The Utah Legislature:

The Nexus of Nuts
The Cross Roads of Inanity
Logic Interupted
Reason Referendum
Normality Disaffected
Libertarian Fascists (note juxtaposition, if you please)

The point is, that there seems to be a durth of measurment in some legislative approaches. I'll cite Rep. Scott Wyatt as one who must have gotten a yard stick of prudence for Christmas.

Wyatt actually took a bill that sought to ban gay clubs in schools, which was way over kill in it's approach, and stepped it back to let parents deal with their own children.

Bravo Scott. It is prudent that simple clubs not be burdened by 16 pages of regulations, including requisite approval of all guests (e.g. a chess master to a chess club or an Armenian professor to a foreign language club) and approval of all handouts by school administrators.

I promise that this is, perhaps, one of the lest egregious examples of crazy.

Violent Video Game Crazy, and the Man Who Almost Sounded Believeable
or
How to Get Your Ass Sued for Liable*

I prefer the day anti-violent-video game activist Jack Thompson called and basically said that Utah's AG called in a drunken sounding rage because, in effect, Utah legislators believed an argument that Thompson's made. Thompson said that Shurtleff sounded drunk, like he was having a nervous break down.

This over an argument was that a bill up for a vote was constitutional; a bill which mirrors ones that have been declared unconstitutional something like 16 times in 8 states.

Thompson calls up and declares the Utah AG "a jackass" and further called for the impeachemnt of the Utah AG because he told legislators that similar bills have been found unconstitutional in other states. And it came with a news release.

So I call the Utah AG and ask him about it. I get something along the lines of "no I didn't call him. . . but I'd sure like to chat with him. Do you have his phone number?"

Oh, Jack, if your going to say that someone called up sounding drunk and send out a news release, maybe you should know that 1) Mark Shurtleff doesn't drink and 2) get a phone record to make it sound a little less like you're making it up - they're easy to get. Call up AT&T and say, "hey, can I have a copy of my bill?"

Why, oh why must these things be?

In short, Please, Please, let's measure our attempts to push through our personal beliefs against the possibility that we might not know and understand all that goes on around us.

Dare I say, only God himself is qualified to speak in absolutes. And I am too, but only in order to say that only God gets to do so. (And I'll reserve the oppertunity to do one more absolute later on.)

A short list of my favorite "crazy" issues.

To be on this list, it should be an issue that is either strange that it exists, odd in how it is being approached, or a fix that is so far from the mark of good judgment that it completely misses the social / governmental / societal problem.

• Video Games
• HPV
• Imigrant In-State Tuition
• Sodomy Repeal: Utah apparently doesn't discriminate on gender - who knew.