Memorial Day

In what could have been mistaken for a satire of a memorial day service, Orem City put on their own tribute to the fallen.
Not a wet eye could be spotted as the Orem High Band, mostly in tune and generally on tempo played the Star Spangled Banner.
Following the anthem, the POW/MIA flag was raised, when a group of armed men, ranging in age from about 12 to about 182 fired a 21 gun salute -- not quite into the crowd, but just slightly over the crowds head.
One old man from the firing squad had difficulty standing, but still he managed to raise his rifle and fire. Meanwhile the young boy to his left squinted in the sun and wheeled his rifle around wildly, firing his weapon in something of a erratic pattern.
A distinct look of “good hell, let those be blanks” was on the face of many.
U.S. Sen Orrin Hatch was on hand to pay his respects at the Orem Cemetery before rushing off to another service at Hill Air Force Base.

Bike to Work Day

Today was bike to work day in Provo.

Seriously? Yup, seriously.

Mayor Lewis Billings came in his shirt and tie, and they did a 3 mile bike ride around the city. County Commissioner Gary Anderson wore a football helmet for reasons passing understanding.

Two girls who worked for the fire department rode a tandem bike . . . in high heels.

Photo By Mario Ruiz

Some headline suggestions that they turned down:
Of Pit Stains and Spokes
Wear Spandex to Work Day
Helmet Head: The New Business Casual Look

This Old Post

I was just looking at my last post and I realized, penis is a Latin word. The plural isn't penises it's penies.

Live and learn, live and learn.

Humorious Protesters

I covered the Dick Cheney protest on campus yesterday. I included some funny stuff in my article that didn't make it into publication, for whatever reason.

So I give it to you here.

Overheard from a guy walking by the protest: "Republicans have a war on terror, Democrats have a war on penises!"

Signs held by protesters

Habeas Schmabeus
That's okay I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway
Dick Cheney: The best reason not to impeach Bush
Prisoner abuse is not a partisan issue (not funny, but well written)
"Go F*** Yourself" - Sound Familiar? (This one is a quote from Cheney. He said it to someone on the floor of the Senate, but I can't remember who he said it to. . . .Oh, and they used the asterisies.)
Prophet but not profit - I can love one but not the other. (Seriously, do they not think these things through before they write them? Could you write something more anti-capitalistic sounding?)

Anyway, I thought they were funny.

Allergies

Allergies suck. But as a devoted shorts and sandal wearer, ergo warm weather lover, what can be done to solve this grave evil of Spring?

Enter: Costco

Generic allergy medication, 300 pills of 24hr, 10 mg loratadine, (Claritin's active ingredient) for 11 bucks.

I'm so grateful for those little white tabs of snot-be-gone.

Cheney

Well, I wrote an article on the VP speaking at BYU and boy oh boy did it get noticed. You see, some people don't care for the VP, and they are threatening not to come to their own graduation if he speaks.

In my article I wrote that it was getting "blue blood boiling". Some people took this to mean that it was angering democrats. Seriously, unless the phrase is juxtaposed with red blood, this doesn't even begin to make sense. It's clearly talking about BYU's colors blue and white.

Also, I took quite a bit of flack for not being fair in my coverage. This, as it would seem, came from the strong supporters of the President and the VP.

Here's the thing: does it really need to be said that if BYU invited him, then there are people at BYU who support it? If the news story is that people are protesting Cheney, should I search out people who not only are silently supporting him? Is it really necessary to say that even though a few people are really upset, not everyone disapproves of the invitation? I just don't see why that needs to be said. It isn't what the story is about.

Let's do a hypothetical:

Lets say I write that a polygamist leader is indicted for statutory rape. (Again, hypothetical.) Would it be unbalanced for me to not put in the article, "the leaders followers still support him"?

I don't think so, because, well, the story isn't about who supports him. The story is about him being indicted. Similarly in the Cheney article, the story isn't about the people who support him, it's about the people who invited him.

Am I therefore unbalanced and biased? Maybe so, but I don't think so.

And let me make this clear: I have no agenda political or otherwise on this matter. I personally, and I stress personal opinion here, think the office of the Vice President deserves respect. I personally think that there are arguments that bear cogency denigrating the VP. I also think there are arguments that are reasonably cogent supporting the man and the administration which he represents.

So what does it boil down to? Just this: he speaks, he doesn't speak, what will be, will be. I, however, only seek to let people know that there is an upset a'brewing; one that may bear fruits, of good or bad, but fruits none the less.


I, as a matter of torpor, perhapses, or as a matter of distance, just don't feel like any one set of arguments is really hitting the mark just yet, at least to satisfy my standards for forming a personal opinion on the matter.

So to all those who wrote in and called me a "low-life liberal" with a "partisan political agenda" here's the tough break: while you have gone ahead and formed your opinion, I, after speaking with dozens of people on the subject, still think that it would require more thought and information to make wise conclusions.

And when I do, perhaps I'll tell you all. Then again, maybe I won't. But I guarantee, it won't be what anyone expects that I'll say.

I'm far to creative for that.

Sky Diving

A selection of SB 179
"14 . provides that no person may make a claim against or recover from a county,
15 municipality, or independent special district for personal injury or property damage
16 resulting from the inherent risks of skydiving."

Now I'm not a lawyer, but last I checked, if you were trying to prove a negligence case, what you would try to show is that the risks were inherent.

Doesn't this bill, in effect, put an admission of negligence into statute?

Casual Wednesday

So I have a new plot.
I want to convince legislators and everyone on the hill that Tomorrow, (well I guess today at this point) the last day of the session, is a dress-up costume day.

I just love the image of Becky Lockhart in a bumble bee suit, complete with antennae, moving to amend. Steve Urquhart would be wearing the guy in the shower costume, and Scott Wyatt would be a hay farmer.

The speaker, Greg Curtis, would, of course, be Wayne Newton, because, he really does look a lot like him.

As for me, I would get one of those big brimmed fedoras with a "press" card stuck in it and a trench coat. That or one of those corner newspaper seller hats from "Newsies".

Forever, aka As Needed

Tomorrow's floor time is scheduled to go from 2 pm 'til "as needed".
What does this mean? It means I'm bringing Arrested Development on DVD to work tomorrow for the inevitable debate over whether a notice should be sent via first class or certified mail. (Note: If you're my boss reading this, that whole arrested development thing is just an expression.)

I Move Previous Question

To move the Previous Question is the greatest motion around. It cuts off debate after a vote. Unless you're the one who wants to talk, it is awesome. It's the, "I get it, I get it, lets move along" motion. Also the, "please, shut up" motion.

Steve Urquhart has been moving previous question a lot lately. Probably trying to get the legislature moving along as the session gets closer to the end. I like to think it is more like a master hitting the shock button on his dog's collar. "Heel," Urquhart yells, "Previous question, get back to your desk."

Harry Potter Holiday

So my cousin wants to declare July 21st a Harry Potter holiday.

There is a petition you can sign at
www.harrypotterholiday.com

Though I'm not a Harry Potter freak like some people, it is still cool. So go sign it.

All Mirth and Girth

And I don't mean mirth in the happy way. I mean in the large pubis mons kind of way. I guess that condition, marked by the "triangle area" encompasing the better part of the body, can be caused by heart problems.

But I do wonder, why is it that those people who suffer from this condition wear their pants so tight up against them. They have this round, smooth buldge (which sometimes serves as a desk or table) -- a budlge so smooth and so outlined by tight pants that I cannot figure out where they could be keeping their genitalia.

Seriously, where'd it go?

I'll make you break the law!

Now, those of you who know me know that I love speeding. A lot. Further, people riding in the left hand lane who don't let me pass are so increadibly frustraitng. I was, therefore, excited to see this provision in a house bill:

"an operator of a vehicle traveling in the left lane may not impede the
free flow of traffic and shall, upon being overtaken by a vehicle in the same lane,
yield to the vehicle;"

About time.

I was thinking, man, this is really good, but no one is going to know about this. How can people hear about it?

Oh, yeah, I work for a newspaper, duh.

Here's something interesting about the law:

"provides that if an operator is being followed by a vehicle in the left lane within a
certain distance, it is prima facie evidence that the operator is impeding the free
flow of traffic"

Doesn't this say that if I tail gate you, then you've violated the law?

I hope so. You need to get to the right, for the love of all that is holy.

One sad note, the provision that would raise Utah's speedlimits by 5 mph was struck from the bill. Very sad indeed.

Swingin' Cash

Steve Urquhart, R-St. George, substituted Utah's anti-abortion bill today. But while he stepped back the abortion illegalization measure he also managed to swing an extra 1.3 million for some of his favorite projects.

Early Childhood intervention was, according to Rep. Paul Ray, R-Clearfiled, funded in his committee nearly to the full amount requested. Urquhart, however, seems to have wanted a bit more for the program.

Urquhart never the less managed to move the bill from an inevitable constitutional challenge to a trigger bill (waiting on Roe v. Wade's overturn) and then re-direct the money for the defense of the law to early childhood and childhood deformation programs.

I don't judge the man for the move one way or another. I was nevertheless impressed how he managed to use the substitution one of the most controversial bills that legislators will look at this year to swing some cash the way of a cause he believed in.

And I thought that pork only came in the form of amendments and burritos from Cafe Rio. (I suppose the Cafe Rio thing is an irony in and of itself as imigrants work there but don't get tons of pork - unless the owner gives them some after close.)

Bluetooth Earpieces

I'm in the middle of writing 3 stories, so I've got to make this quick.

What inspires people to wear the hands free bluetooth earpieces when
a) They're insde
b) They're not talking to anyone
c) They've got nothing in their hands
d) They're just wandering the halls

I stronlgy doubt that anyone who looks as goofy as these people do gets nearly enough phone calls to warrent owning one of these devices, let alone wearing them.

Comfortable Bishop

Rob Bishop, US congressman from Utah addressed the state leg today.

He is my kind of guy, for one reason in particular.

He wore this to the floor of the House.

When the speaker teased him about it, Bishop says, "I'm wearing socks. This is formal."

Awesome.


Monday, I'm wearing this shirt I found online to the Capitol.

That is if someone wants to buy it for me.

(The joke is all in the arms. . . not the arms of the guy wearing the shirt, but the arms of the guy on the t-shirt)

Medical Malpractice

Today was the emergency room tort reform bill in HHS ; HB 338.

There are two sides to this, one is very tragic, and one is very pragmatic.

The examples given of malpractice during today's hearing were, well, viceral. "Good hell, how does that happen?" went through my mind once or twice when I heard some of the discriptions of what doctors did by accident.

But I noticed that all there were no Malpractice defense lawyers at the hearing; just the litigators for victims of malpractice. There were also doctors there who think that being sued constantly results in no doctors wanting to work in the ER. They said that it certainly kept specialists who, apparently, are realy important to have on hand out of the ER.

So let's say we table the bill's opponent argument that 338 is "defacto immunity" for ER workers. And let's look at the noticed parts of the issue.

I don't believe that these doctors intentionally screwing people up.

And, frankly, at a standard rate of 33% of damages, I think that the motives of litigators who oppose this bill are not exactly altruistic.

I guess I don't know the answer to how malpractice torts can be reformed. Probably because I'm not a lawyer, a doctor, or a tort-reformer. (Although I have considered being an Indian chief.) Doctors do need accountability, and our juris system needs someone to blame so damages can be awarded.

All I'm saying is something strange is afoot at the Circle-K.

Work

How is it that there can be so much going on at the legislature, yet I feel that there is so little to report on. So go ahead, post your favorite House Bill comming up that you want me to write on. Maybe I'll do it. You know you want to.

Bariatric Surgery

I'm listening to testimony about covering bariatric surgery for obesity under insurance.

I've never felt more inspired to go to the gym.

The Earth's Axis

The Earth's axis, once on my shiz list, is slowly moving back into my good graces. As the Sun pushes back North where it belongs, I noticed that we are expecting 56 degrees today. Praise be, the winter is dying.

Though I still am concerned over this winter thing. I compiled some weather stats for Provo over the past few years, and there is typically a warming follwed by a sudden cold blast. Will it occur? Probably. Will I be releasing CFC's to help warm me back up when it happens? Almsot certianly.